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How To Select Your Bridesmaids and Matron/Maid of Honor

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Presently now in the United States the average wedding will contain 4 bridesmaids, plus 1 maid or matron of honor. We have had upwards of 14 couples but these are few and far between.

Selecting your bridal party is a way of recognizing and honoring those close to you if not related to you. Usually the maid or matron of honor is a sister while the best man is a brother. This not always need be the case as your closest friends will often be considered at the very least.

It stands to reason that those loved ones you will want to include in one of the greatest and happiest days of your life. Some couples have said building their bridal party is difficult as they have so may close friends. It can become very difficult and you certainly do not want to hurt anyone's feelings.

The duties of your maid or matron of honor is to attend to your needs and assist you throughout the wedding day with things such as personal matters, freshening up etc. Your bridesmaids will help you to build the wedding day. They will offer ideas and assist you create this most important day.

While you are considering who to have in your bridal party think of the duties that you will assign them. This way you won't have a bridesmaid(s) with nothing duty to do. Believe me there will be lots of errands and planning that your bridesmaids can perform on your behalf.

During the planning process you will most likely become frazzled or emotional distressed at some point as building an event such as this can take up a lot of time. Having someone very close to you will be of great comfort to vent to or seek emotional support. For this very reason brides turn to their sisters, or moms to fulfill this position.

Before you pick up the phone and start asking girls take a moment and think if this person will;
A. Attend your wedding and rehearsal.
B. Is she one who is good at carrying out duties and tasks, even in the heat of the moment.
C. Will she be able to offer good suggestions and quality planning advice.
D. Be there by your side throughout the entire process.

It can be difficult to limit how many girls you will have in your party but realize that the more bridesmaids you have, the more it will cost you. Additional bridesmaids means more flowers, gifts, rehearsal meals and additional champagne at the head table.

A rough guideline for the number of attendants to have would be one per 50 guests per side. Usually there is an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen but you can always double up on some meaning two groomsmen will escort a single bridesmaid (or vice versa).

If you have a few extra, especially if a few are young they could be ushers, program attendants, scripture readers. These are also very important duties and someone needs to handle them flawlessly.

If by chance you cannot choose one over another you can have two maids, matron of honors or one of each. In this case be specific and make sure they each understand their duties to avoid confusion and any hurt feelings.

Now these are rough rules of thumb but you can adjust as per your very own situation. Not all of us fit into the perfect mold. Do your homework, think things through and if need be discuss your thoughts with your fiancÚ, parents of maid/matron of honor.


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